The Un-meant Gift by Amy Lane 

I hope you’ll please forgive me
As I was working on your scarf
The baby’s sticky hands touched it
(I swear it wasn’t barf.)
And careful as you unwrap it--
There’s Kleenex on the fold
(I swear I wouldn’t knit while I
Was suffering from a cold…)
And that little drop of wetness
In a teeny-tiny pool--
I didn’t know a single cat
Could dribble that much drool..
As I was finishing up the fringie part
The dog emitted toxic gas…
(Using her secret delivery system--
Her handy pointed a&&…)
And although when it happened
It made our eyes all tear and sting
I don’t think the smell seeped in
To that pretty fringie thing…
And the rustic socks I knitted
May begin to scent-emote
The sweet exotic scent of
Eau de Kazakstani goat…
But don’t worry if your cat sucks up
To the knitting for the smell
‘Cause I usually vacuum
And I always use Purell
And I swear I’ve never needled up
When sitting on the pot
(Although I’m sorely tempted when
My plumbing isn’t working as it ought.)
And although the cat is burping
As he’s sitting on my lap
A little spray Febrezing
Should get rid of all of that
So I hope you will forgive me
As the fumes begin to mount
And God will bless the gift-ee
Who knows it’s thought that counts.